A passage of time....or thoughts on being an orphan...

Yesterday I got a note from a dear friend that her father had died of pancreatic cancer. I knew a little about his illness from a couple of conversations that we had had. She shared with a group of her friends the obituary that she had written.

In the note to her friends, a group of which I am honored to be included, she included a link to the obituary that she had written and she wrote to us:

“I share it with you because knowing him even a little, is also knowing me.”

My father has been dead almost 36 years, and my mother died in 1985 just before Valentine’s day. I know how happy I am when friends from days past recall my parents fondly. But those events are not as frequent as I would desire.

I grieve for my friend, but I also envy the fact that her father saw what a wonderful woman that she had become, and the respect and success that she enjoys in her community. My father didn’t have that pleasure, and I have often worried that I might not a lived up to my mother’s hopes and dreams for me.

I celebrate the life that her father had, and hope that when I die, my daughters are able to write well of me and my life.

Comments

[Mia]

I think your mother knows what a lovely man you turned out to be. This was beautiful and reminds me to fully appreciate my parents every day.

[Chris]

At the age of 17, I lost both of my parents - some 25 years ago and it still hurts today. I didn't lose them through death - I lost them through a very messy divorce that shattered our entire family. They're still alive, but we have no connection whatsoever.

Its tough to lose a loved one, no matter the mechanism. Be glad for the time you had, savor the memories, be a loving father and make new memories every day with your kids. Its the best any of us can do for them, and for ourselves.

[pj]

it's hard not to remember someone who gave you ever dream you could dream up, ya know?

[Karen]

You are ALWAYS too young to be an orphan.